Family, friends, Ivy Jo and Bella, beer, wine, cheese, pizza, steady electricity, my comfortable mattress, driving a car, unlimited phone data, tank tops, bathtubs, independence, privacy. I MISS YOU
I miss you, but I won’t be seeing you anytime soon.
”The pain of leaving those you grow to love is only the prelude to understanding yourself and others. Life is a process of letting go, letting go of conditions we can’t control, letting go of people -- watching them move out of our lives, letting go of times, places, experiences. Leaving behind anyone or anyplace we have loved may sadden us, but it also provides us with opportunities for growth we hadn’t imagined. These experiences push us beyond our former selves to a deeper understanding of ourselves and of others. So often those experiences that sadden us, that trigger pain, are the best lessons life is able to offer. Experiencing the pain, surviving the pain that wrenches is emotionally, stretchs us to new heights. Life is enriched by the pain. Our experiences with all other persons thereafter are deeper. Instead of dreading the ending of a time, the departure of a loved one, we must try to appreciate what we have gained already and know that life is fuller for it. Today will bring both goodbyes and hellos. I can meet both with gladness“
During a rough period a few years ago, I came across this quote and it changed things for me. It really hit home and still continues to do so (and I still carry a copy of it with me). Often times, we associate the word ”missing” with sadness. But for me, the two aren’t always directly tied. Instead, I choose to look at the things I miss and appreciate their presence in my life.
Since finding that quote, I’ve changed jobs three times, lived in three different apartments, moved to two different cities and ultimately ended up halfway across the world. In between all of that change, there’s a lot of people, places and things to miss; and I do miss all of those them quite often. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what it means to miss someone or something. Of course, naturally, these thoughts always start with a twinge of longing. But I quickly realize that however amazing a time or place was, I wouldn’t want to go back there.
I appreciate all of the experiences, people and things in my past, but that’s where they will stay. We are meant to grow, have new experiences and make new memories. It wouldn’t be much fun to look back at your life when you’re 90 and all of those years are filled with the same people, places and experiences on repeat.
I am writing this because lately I’ve really been missing my friends and family (and of course my dogs). Today is Father’s Day and it’s making me miss my family just a little bit more than usual. Add onto that my brother and his wife are expecting their second child in the next month and knowing I won’t be there to welcome him or her into this world hits that much harder. But I remind myself that everyone is just a phone call away and they will all be there when I get home and it gets easier.
If I would have chosen the easy route, to stay in my perfect apartment in the perfect neighborhood with my perfect dog, continue working at a good job surrounded by family and friends who supported me, I wouldn’t have been able to experience the countless amazing things I have in 5 short months.
I wouldn’t have experienced stepping into a classroom of 100 9th graders for the first time, the daily joy of dozens of 11 years olds rushing up to give me high fives and flowers, hearing “When I speak to you, I am very happy because I get to learn English”, riding in my first horse drawn cart down a beautiful path on a sunny day, getting to be part of a family who treats me like their own daughter even though we can barely understand each other, being part of so many cultural moments that are interesting beyond measure or meeting so many people who are incredibly kind to me and make me appreciate so much.
I wouldn’t have realized how truly strong I am. I’m just a small town Iowa girl who has never stretched too far out of her comfort zone but because I didn’t let fear keep me from chasing a dream, I’ve been able to prove to myself on a daily basis how much I can accomplish. Also, I just have to mention that I still haven’t fully accepted all the critters I coexist with as friends, but I am making steady progress.
For anyone who is afraid to make a change because they might miss what they have, MAKE THE CHANGE. Life is constantly changing. Friends get new jobs and they leave, couples have babies and their prorioties change, people decide to sell everything and move halfway across the world. Don’t be afraid of the change. You will miss the past, but you’ll gain so much and thank yourself in the future.
Comments