Two thousand nineteen was the craziest year of my life, and I absolutely loved every second of it (okay, not every, single second). It’s not a surprise that when you leave everything and move halfway across the world you learn a few things about yourself and the world. I wouldn’t trade 2019 for anything and appreciate all of the lessons it taught me. I want to share a few things that I learned my first year in Myanmar.
Be kind, even when you don’t want to be. In a world where emphasis is placed on all of the things that are bad or all of the things going wrong, be kind. Be kind to your family, be kind to your friends, be kind to strangers, and maybe most importantly, be kind to yourself. I’ve realized how much a small act of kindness, or a simple smile, can change a person’s day. Being kind to someone doesn’t cost anything, but it can mean everything. Kindness makes the world a better place and we need more of it. I have always been a kind person by nature, but I am beginning to be much more intentional with my kindness. Be the change you want to see.
Good things come to good people. I truly believe this. If you are a kind person and put good vibes out into the Universe, I believe that good things will come to you. I call it good JUJU and I am blessed with a lot of it. You attract what you are. Recently, I had someone tell me that they are kind to me because it is a reflection of me. I am not perfect, I have flaws and I have bad days, but I try to do the right thing, to be kind and do what I can to make this world a better place. I challenge you to find ways to become a better person, and pay attention to how the Universe reacts.
Ask for what you want. I grew up watching my mom ask for what she wanted, but it was something I always struggled with. I would hear “you don’t know unless you ask,” but I always feared asking because I feared making the other person feel uncomfortable. Slowly, overtime, I have learned to ask for what I want and I am here to tell you it is empowering. I am no longer afraid to voice my own opinion or speak up for myself. I am no longer afraid to ask someone for something, the worst thing they can say is no. No one is going to give you what you want unless you ask for it.
Just do it, don’t think. This came to fruition while I was standing on top of a boat, on a diving board, ready to jump into the Andaman Sea. I have always been afraid of heights (even small ones), and I have never craved adrenaline. On that boat, I hesitated for a moment, but before I was ready I took the plunge. I realized in that moment that even when we aren’t ready to do something, we need to just do it before we overthink and talk ourselves out of it. Fear is created in our heads, and it’s our own self created fear that keeps us from doing what we want. Don’t overthink, don’t procrastinate, don’t give yourself time to think of reasons not to do something, just do it.
Go with the flow. This is something that is still a work in progress. I am detail oriented, I like having a plan and I like having control, so giving up control to go with the flow is a challenge for me that’s going to take many more years to master. However, I am starting to recognize how valuable it is to go with the flow and how it can make life a lot less stressful. During my Peace Corps service, I’ve heard the phrase “be like water” many times, and it is something I try to keep in mind when situations are unknown or frustrating. Life is unpredictable and crazy, and it’s impossible to be in control all of the time, so going with the damn flow….
Don’t plan. This is the thing I struggle with the most. I am a planner and a list maker. I thrive when I can have things planned out to the minute (seriously, the minute sometimes). This past year, I’ve learned the freedom of not having a plan. I’ve learned that when you don’t have a plan, you open yourself up to so many possibilities and you never know what will come along. It has been so freeing to just allow things to happen, without trying to stress over what is going to happen. It isn’t a secret that some of the best experiences come from spontaneous , unplanned decisions.
Things always work out. As humans, we try to control the outcome of a situation. It’s in our nature to stress when things don’t work as planned. I’ve learned that if we give up that control, that sense of responsibility and allow the Universe to work in its magic, that things always work out in the end. This lesson has alleviated a lot of stress from me because when things aren’t going my way, I am able to sit back, not stress and just know that eventually I will get to where I need to be. Since I have decided to trust in the Universe and it’s plan, my life has been pretty damn great.
You don’t need things to be happy. I have always been a materialistic person, things make me happy. I’ve always wanted a new outfit for every small occasion, the cute $350 Michael Kors purse or to fill up my cart at TJ Maxx. I am now at a crossroads where I realize that I don’t need things, but things still make me happy. While now the thought of spending $350 on a purse makes me cringe, I do still want a new shirt sometimes. Living in a third world country makes you realize just how much things don’t matter. Myanmar people are some of the kindest and generous people I have ever met, and the things inside their homes include the necessities. While I don’t think I am going to be a full fledged minimalist in the next year, it’s refreshing to realize that buying something doesn't correlate to a happier self.
Nothing is permanent. When I am having a bad day, or in some cases a few bad months, I remind myself that nothing is permanent and things will get better. Realizing that things are going to change has made life a lot less stressful and has made me a happier person. Often times, we want to push away the bad feelings, but I’ve spent the past year realizing that allowing myself to feel crappy sometimes is valuable. On the flip side, I also realize that when I am happy, that won’t last forever either, so I try to appreciate the happiness much more.
I am blessed. I didn’t grow up with everything I ever wanted in a household that was perfect. I still don’t get everything I want and my life still isn’t perfect, but I have had a blessed life. My experiences the past year have made me realize how fortunate I am. Being in Myanmar, seeing the standard of living for most people, I realize how lucky I was in the United States to have grown up always having adequate shelter, food, water and clothing. While those things are essential, and I am grateful that I have never struggled with any of those things, they are not the things I have been most blessed with. It’s taken me a move halfway across the world to realize how special of a person I am, how kind I am, how big my heart is, how beautiful I am, how intelligent I am, how adventurous I am, how brave I am and just how much my presence can make someone’s day better. I have been blessed with two amazing parents who have instilled all of these characteristics in me. When I reflect on the kind of person I am becoming, I can see both of my parents in me. It’s not only my parents who have shaped the person I am, I have been blessed with so many people who have shown me the type of person I want to be and have helped shaped that person. To all of those people, who will know who you are, thank you.
In 2019, I discovered a new version of myself. I am not the same person that I was a year ago, and I’m not the same person I will be in a year from now. I am always striving to be the best version of myself. I want to live a life that I am proud of, a life that fulfills me and a life that makes the world a better place. While all of these lessons I learned the past year are nothing new, I have had so many experiences with them that have shaped me into a new version of myself. I challenge you to take time to reflect on how you’ve changed over the past year and consider if you’re on the path to true happiness. Cheers to 2020, another year as a Peace Corps volunteer in Myanmar and all of the possibilities the next year will bring.
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